Though exact details of the release date for Apple’s newest iPhone are still unknown, Lisa Jackson, Apple’s vice president of Environment, Policy, and Social Initiatives, let leak some pretty exciting news about their latest product, the iPhone 13. “In honor of Earth Day 2021,” Jackson posted on Twitter this past Friday, “the Apple iPhone 13 will ship without the Apple iPhone 13!” In a follow-up interview later that morning with Quirky Quark reporter Morven Braedus, Jackson explained excitedly, “Last year, with the iPhone 12, we removed the charging adapters and EarPods, but this year we really wanted to make an impact.”
When reporter Braedus asked how Apple could possibly justify charging consumers nearly $1k for a product that they were not actually going to distribute, Jackson responded passionately,
There are already over 900 million iPhones in the world. The people already have iPhones. Apple just couldn’t handle another guilt trip over the carbon emissions, mining, and usage of precious materials required to actually give our customers what they paid for. We didn’t want that on our conscience. So instead, we decided to figure out how to give the customers the purchasing experience of getting the new Apple iPhone 13 without looking like the bad guy for the environmental costs of actually producing the new Apple iPhone 13. The answer was obvious, really, once we thought about it like that.”
Jackson went on to explain that Apple supporters shouldn’t be all up-in-arms about the tweaks to the upcoming iPhone 13 distribution. “We are still going to send our customers the box,” Jackson assured, agreeing that iPhone 13 purchasers should still get the near-sensual ecstasy that accompanies the slight friction of sliding off the sleek, white lid from a brand new iPhone box. “Just no phone,” she reminds us, with a grandmotherly smile.
Jackson closed out the interview by stating, “We know we still have a ways to go as a company,” and optimistically added, “Apple has high hopes of eliminating the boxes themselves in time for Earth Day 2022.” Before signing off, Jackson suggested that purchasers of the new iPhone 13 could go on to also purchase the Samsung Galaxy S21 if they had planned on actually receiving a phone.
Nerdy Nugget: According to this New York Times article, the Apple iPhone contains components sourced from more than 200 suppliers and requires approximately 400 separate assembly steps from start to finish.
For more of The Quirky Quark, the Nerdiest satire in The Galaxy, click HERE.
